Let's Talk About Carly Rae Jepsen

Friends, it’s time we talked. For weeks I have been hearing people ask: what is the song of the summer? Is it “Despacito?” Is it “Bad Liar?” I am utterly confused, dear friends, to hear people idly speculate as though the answer were not obvious, as though our Lord and Savior, reigning Pop Princess from the noble land of Canada, Carly Rae Jepsen, did not graciously bestow the Song of the Summer upon us MONTHS AGO. I have held my tongue too long! As CRJ herself would say: “let’s get real, baby.”

Friends, I have no beef with “Despacito,” and I take no offense to “Bad Liar.” Both are jams in their own right, and I have listened to them both with true glee more than once in the past months. But it is time we gave “Cut to the Feeling” its due. After the early hubbub on Twitter died down, I saw precious little attention being given to the newest single from Queen Carly. THIS MUST BE CORRECTED. Those who know me personally will know that I have been a Jepsen enthusiast for many a year. In the summer of 2013, I listened to the album “Kiss” approximately 79 times and I regret only that I did not blast it more often. Her magnum opus, “E•MO•TION,” was if anything more perfect and transcendent and yet still, Carly Rae could not get her due. But when I heard “Cut to the Feeling” I thought surely, surely this time the people will rally behind her. Friends, “Cut to the Feeling” is soaring. It is anthemic. It is pure and it is perfect and it rings eternal in my very bones. I have listened to it approximately 475 times and I refuse to stop. It is time we all got it together and LET CARLY RAE TAKE US HIGHER, and that’s all I have to say on the matter.

CRJ I love you and I cherish you and I pledge my heart to you forever.